From to 2012 and into 2013!

It has been a while since I have blogged. 2012 has been a busy year and there is much to talk about, but I also believe that we have experienced many moments in 2012 that take time to learn how to speak about them. It has been a year since our last blog, so I will do my best to sum up as much as I can. We would like to dedicate this post to all the people that we have met in 2012 and have shown to be TRUE friends. We are blessed with wonderful people who have come into our lives and have been there to help us through the year. We are always also very humble and appreciate everything that has come our way and the accomplishments we have reached this year. Victor and I both graduated with our Bachelors and both of us are the first in our families. We come from a long journey with many road blocks in our paths. We both have seen the road of being homeless, not knowing where our next meal would come from, and our families turning their backs on us during our young years. We both did what we needed in order to survive and strive forward. Many times we had to rethink our pathway and make adult decisions that 16 to 18 year olds normally don't make until their 20s. All in all we both stumbled upon an angel, Rick Schroder. He became our mentor and our savior and did what our parents did not. He guided us into a light that brought us to Idaho State University in 2006 and now we both can smile with our degrees in our hands thanks to this wonderful man! Thank you Rick for what you have done for us! You gave us hope and inspiration to one day pass this gift to someone who will need it. It is because of you coming into our lives that we saw a good path and graduated in 2012. Victor was blessed with a wonderful job at Portneuf Medical Center and has made friends with a lot of wonderful people that have accepted him for who he is. We also have been blessed with a great job that I love at Idaho State University and both Victor and I are grateful and thankful to have a great boss! As the International Recruiter/Study Abroad Coordinator at Idaho State University and the International Programs Office I have had the honor to have Maria Fletcher as a boss. She is a wonderful leader and Director that appreciates higher education. She believes in mentoring and leading with outstanding leadership! We are thankful for the great team at IPO and feel honored to be part of the team! But most of all I am doing what I love in my career and I am truly thankful for that. My goal in life is to pass the gift I have received from Rick and Maria and pass it to other students! Vic and I also have created wonderful and strong friendships with Kristina and Andy James who are the most wonderful couple ever with a great future ahead of them. Vic and I are thankful to you Kristina for how you have been there for us and you have kept it real. Rachel we remember when we first met you through Danson. I remember that one day after the first semester in Danson when we ran into each other in the LA Building. Ever since we became closer and good friends, which was unexpected and a great surprise! Thank you for always lending an ear Rachel. We had a great trip to Vegas with Kristina and Rachel that made us all grow as friends and we all learned a little more about each other. We love you Rachel and Tina and thank you for accepting us into your lives! But there are so many people we are thankful for and we wish you a prosperous 2013, so here it goes; Thank you Linda, Rosa, Glen, Brenna and Lori Oliver, Timmia, Hannah, Gena, Lauralee  and Chuck Zimmerly, Megan, Kendra, Abeer, Jesse, Gene, Adam, Shawn, Sam, Kinzie, Heather, Sheena, Amanda and her family, Scott, Beth Cork, and Chelsea Kaminska! Wooh, sure hope we did not forget anyone else and if we did, we wish you a Happy and Prosperous New Years!  Just like everyone we also lost someone that we considered close enough to be family. It saddens us that there could be people that could break your heart and sometimes what is broken cannot be replaced. So we learn to move forward, put a smile on our face, and learn to be stronger. But we wish them the best in 2013 along with health, happiness, and good fortune! We are also thankful for the Danson family and their hard work. 2012 was a strong year! Danson keep the dancing strong and know that your positive spirit is what keeps it going! Circus has been great and we are looking forward to Circus Pt 3 and "Bringing the Circus to ISU" in 2013 (fingers crossed)! This year I also was accepted into the MPA program and completed my first semester! We are also thankful for our vacation to Hawaii! Vic and I grew even closer together, caught up on a lot of nice conversations about our lives and where we want to head with our family. We got to take time to slow down and enjoy some time together and remind each other of what really matters in life. I am thankful for having Vic, having breath, health, and love in my life. Victor also lost his sister Alejandra in a tragic car accident that took her life. Alejandra we love you... Our hearts go to all the innocent people in this world that are no longer with us and were not fortunate enough to see 2013. Our love goes out to the innocent souls no longer with us and their families. To all of the people in our lives once again Happy New Years, we love you, and here is to making the best of 2013!!!

"The way it is"

WOW! Everything is coming up so soon! We have three shows back to back! Next weekend is Tribute:Dance ISU in concert with the dates being Nov 11,12,18-20th. Then its Thanksgiving break! Thank god! This year we are going to VEGAS! WAHOO! Its gonna be so fun! We need a vacation. After we come back from Vegas our show opens. Which is really exciting! We have had some ups and downs but overall the product is finished. Megan Griggs has been such a pleasure to work with! Words cant even describe how well we work together. We want everyone to come to our show! Its going to be full of emotions. Sadness, highs and low's, and everything that you can think of! Then last but not least we have Danson! Dec 9th and 10th at 7:30pm at the SPAC. Cant wait for all of these shows to be over so we can actually go to the gym and work out! Well thats all for now!

June & July

Every year we look forward to this to months because a lot of special things have happened with in. Our wedding Anniversary, Victor's Birthday, My Birthday, and most importantly it is time that brings a lot of good memories that will be remembered for years amongst good friends. These months along with the special events brought a lot of unity, happiness, and good people together. These people have grown within our hearts and have become very special to us. So we would just like to take a moment to thank those wonderful people for creating such amazing memories that we will laugh, cry, and talk about for years to come. These memories are the things that bring good to our lives and make it worth living and embracing life.
Thank you

Choose your Friends Wisely

There are many people that use the term friend loosely, but some of us when we call you friend we mean it in our hearts. In the end we as humans are responsible and should be smart enough to know that some friends are not truly friends, some friends are just their, and some friends will disappoint you, but most all friends will in the end just be acquaintances that pass through your life. And as these friends/acquaintances pass through your life they will have a lot, little, or no impact in your life. Some of us as friends only see the good in those people and hope that maybe we have made another good friendship that will last for many years to come or even a life time. Sadly, those friendships of many years or life time friendships are rare... A Wise man once told us, "You are not my friend until after I have known you for over 5 years". At the time I did not understand what he meant, but as we looked back at all the people we called friends and where they stood in our lives, we discovered that most of them could not be called friends and some of them we could not believe that we even called them friends! In the end some of these revelations break our hearts because you think you know someone, but you really don't... In college we have met many people that till now have become not just friends, but family in less than 5 years and that is because they genuinely have loved us and have been there for us through thick and thin (Thank you). We have also met people that have passed through our lives posing as friends with their own agenda and this make us feel used! We don't have much to offer, but we can offer you our true friendship through thick and thin. For those who posed as friends, stop playing mind games with people who have good intentions and good feelings of being your friend! Figure out your own life before you pretend to be a friend, and over all respect yourself and love yourself in order to have friends that you can call friends 5 years later down your life.

And to the Family and Friends that were present at our wedding and through preparations (you know who you are) thank you for being in our lives and being so supporting as family!

Neri and Being Gay with spiritual belief

My grandmother passed away on February 27th, 2011 at 11:30am... I had not seen her since the age of 5. I left my country (Nicaragua) after the president was assasinated and the sandinistas took over the government, everyone's property, and began to forcefully recruit young men/boys as early as the age of 7 for the military. My mom, dad, my brother Edward and I fled to the U.S. to avoid being caught in the turmoils of the country. I don't have many memories about Nicaragua and my family there, but the few that I do have I've made myself hold on to them and remind me of the happy times. When I heard my grandmother passed away those memories flooded my head. When I was 4 years old my grandmother Neri and I use to take long walks in Esteli. The houses were old and varied in pastel colors, the roads were unpaved, and the stray dogs were friendly. Neri lived with my grandfather and my aunts and uncles in this house where the floors would be cold at night because they were concrete, but I use to love laying and falling asleep on that floor during the hot days, because they were cool. The kitchen in the house had a huge clay oven on one end, a small rustic sink on the other end, and there was no floor but only dirt. I remember that when I would get upset, got hurt, or was just in the dumps my Neri would run to the corner and get me a snow cone. She would come back with the snow cone melting because it was so hot, but I still loved it because she got it for me. Non of my other brothers really knew her or shared those young memories like I did, and I miss her for that. I missed my time to see her once more in this life time. I think of her everyday now, more than ever. I think of how she is in a better place and hopefully looking down at me. This pass week I performed and decided to dedicate all my performances to my Neri. You see I was raised catholic and my family was raised strict Roman catholic. I don't go to church on a regular basis because I do not believe that I have to step into a church and pay my dues for god to know that I believe in him. Since I was 5 years old I always liked boys and now men. No one corrupted me, no one made me gay. So I truly believe that god made me this way, and he loves me for who I am. I still pray every night, and yes I still believe in my guardian angel, but I also believe that I can be in a center place within myself and my spirituality and be true to myself as a happy married gay man! And just to make things clear I believe in the power of ones self spirituality and not the religions that man has created through time. I believe in the good of people, I believe that my grandmother loves me for who I am, and that no one should pass judgment on others. I believe in true love and the power of self and inner strength. People should not drown in trying to hide who they are, but should be happy by being themselves and if those around you do not accept you for who you are, then those people do not have unconditional love for you and are selfish. It is more exhausting pretending to be someone your not, and trying to make those around you happy. It is less exhausting and even more liberating to be yourself and being surrounded by those who will protect you, love you, and accept you for who you truly are as unique human individual!

Happy Valentines Day Victor Gomez-Raudez

Happy Valentines Day to my wonderful husband, to my companion of five years. When I met you that one evening in Houston I did not expect for my life to change. My life changed in many ways. Before you, there was little light and almost no hope for love, but then you came and you brought light and love back into my life. Our first year was rough, but we survived, our personalities clash, but we complete each other, we argue like best friends, but we make-up like lovers, we want to do different things in life, but in the end all we want is to be next to each other. I look at you when you are asleep and I love it when you are sound and in peace. I observe you when you get angry and know that you are only mad because you easily frustrate and overwhelm yourself like I do at times. I hold you when you cry because I know you mean well like I do. I celebrate when you laugh and we joke because we don't say anything at all and just get each other. In the last five years you have captivated me and captured my heart. There are times things do not seem to work out, but we never give up and we know that these are the challenges of a relationship. I know that you are the one becuase I still have nightmares where I look for you and cannot find you. When I wake up all I want to do is hold you so I can re-assure myself that you are real and that you are really in my life. You are strong when I am weak, and I will always be strong for us when you need me to be. Happy Valentines Day!

Con todo mi Amor y Corazon,
Omar

After The Laramie Project

It has been a busy two months for us. On one side we were in the middle of rehearsals and performances for two plays (Cindy Ellen & The Laramie Project) and on the other side we had rehearsals for Dance ISU in Concert: Transitions. Of course we weren't the only ones, but we were part of that crazy group of performers that want to experience it all, and be part of it all. Well, I never knew how much impact The Laramie Project would have on us...well mostly me (Omar). As you all know I posted several months back that I had been a victim of a hate crime. One of the reasons I decided to do Laramie was to face my fears and stand up for what I believe in. In one of the rehearsals the director Phil Shepherd asked me to share my story and gladly I did, but as I was sharing it I found myself looking down. At the time I wasn't sure or knew exactly why I did that, and later I went home and thought about it. I realized that I did not want to look up because I did not want to see others looking at me, I did not want to cry, I wanted to hold myself together and be strong. I knew that when I talked about it...that it would touch a very sensitive spot within me, and up till then I did not know how to handle it or for that matter what to do with it as I retold it and as the story came out of my mouth. Well through the process of the Laramie Project I focus a lot on my character, I played Moises Kaufman and the Narrator, which was a true honor. It was an honor because I was on stage watching the entire show and found myself at a point where I could no longer run away from any fear I would have. There were moments where my fear would sneak in and I would have really horrible thoughts and even nightmares. There was this one time that I woke up after I had dreamed that some one shot me on the way to rehearsals for Laramie. On opening night as the lights came up I looked at the crowd afraid of seeing strangers or an unfamiliar face that would stand up and do something horrible to me or to any of my fellow cast members. Every night, before I went on stage I stood behind the wooden wall and prayed to have something good come out of every night, and I prayed for safety. I knew my fears and scars would surface, but I never thought how heavy it had been. Truly having repressed the incident for so long had definitely an impact on how heavy it had resurfaced. But I knew I had to do this and I wanted to do this for myself, to move on, to be strong, and to show others that something such as hate crime can only make you stronger. I wanted to show others that you can survive and fight to make a change, to make a difference, and to bring awareness. Through out the play I found myself angry. I was angry at society, I was angry at those who think that they have the right to violate someones personality, someone self, and violate who they are because they just simply do not like it. It only took two men to take Matthew Shepherd's life... I was GAY BASHED by four Hispanic drunk men on the 24th floor of a Marriott Hotel, in Houston's prestigious Medical Center. I could have died, I could have missed out on meeting Rick Schroder (my mentor), I could have missed out on coming to ISU, I could have missed out on being introduced to the love of my life, I could have missed out on getting married with Vic, and I could have missed out on all the wonderful people I have met here in Idaho. During some of the nights of performing Laramie I found myself in many of my cast members shoes and thinking how strong we all were to do this play.